Experts’ Corner

Her Hair Glistened in the Rain Like Nose Hair After a Sneeze

Groucho Marx glasses This amazing analogy is brought to us by Chuck Smith of Woodbridge, Virginia. As part of a Washington Post Style Invitational. The call went out for lame analogies and metaphors everywhere. Scroll down to see the winners. (If you need a refresher, an analogy uses “like” or “as”, while a metaphor does not. ) Below is a short list of hilarious comparisons if you are looking for a good laugh or inspiration for a term paper!

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other Sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. – Sue Lin Chong, Washington

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. -Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a Guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. -Joseph Romm, Washington

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again. -Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t. -Russell Beland, Springfield

McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup. -Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and “Jeopardy” comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30. -Roy Ashley, Washington

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center. -Russell Beland, Springfield

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. -Unknown

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. -Jack Bross, Chevy Chase

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. -Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. -Jennifer Hart, ArlingtonGroucho Marx glasses


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